Rainbow Tears

[Echo]

This is my story!  I love writing and when I got into firefly it seemed only natural to write a firefly story!  Three weeks later and three a4 books later I had rainbow Tears, my first wild stab at writing a proper story.  I've written before and NEVER finished one but this one I stuck with!

If you'd like to red it it can be found at http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com

If you can't find it then try this:

Chapter 1 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-1-122366458
Chapter 2 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-2-122469124
Chapter 3 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-3-124533098 
Chapter 4 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-4-124534232
Chapter 5 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-5-125307733
Chapter 6 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-6-125308320 
Chapter 7 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-7-125420431
Chapter 8 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-8-125421172
Chapter 9 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-9-125534466 
Chapter 10 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-10-125535138
Chapter 11 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-11-126937700
Chapter 12 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/Firefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-12-126938236
Chapter 13 http://vampsllneverhurtyou.deviantart.com/art/FIrefly-RAINBOW-TEARS-Chap-13-126938602


To anyone who reads it thank you (and well done) and with the theme of luck (mostly bad) the 13 chapters was a COMPLETE accident!

Please comment if you read!

Also my next one "Firefly: Too Deep" is out Summer 2010!  This time maybe even in book form!

[Corky Kneivel]

I'm digging it. Its always great to see more Serenity action and this story started out with a BANG! in the action department.

I'd like to commend you on the storytelling device you utilized in the first chapter, dropping us right into the middle of chaos and disaster before pulling back to how it all began. You do dialogue very well, none of the characters read like they're saying things out of their norm. I like how the story's progressing and the way you're peeling back the layers on Rem...starting to reveal a real character.

My one and only critical advice would be to re-imagine the very 1st paragraph. It seemd pulled straight from the opening scene of Star Wars, with the little rebel ship on the run from the impossibly large cruiser just above an immense planet, however maybe thats just my lack of imagination. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z33-qOXOWS4|this is what I imagined as I read your words

I applaud the dedication it must have taken to craft a whole 13 chapters ((I too get sidetracked while finishing stories)) I look forward to reading the next few!

[Echo]

Thank you.  As for the opening paragraph...well when you get to that bit later on it'll seem a little less Star Wars.  I thought that myself when I was writing it and I just couldn't escape it.

I'm glad that you're enjoying it and trust me 13 chapters is nothing compared to what I'm writing right now.  Too Deep is 5 chapters in and already it feels like it's taken me a year...my deadline of this summer is out of the window, I'll be lucky if I finish it before autumn hits us...

[Corky Kneivel]

Finished Chapter 3 and am halfway through 4. Very good stuff here. I wanted to apologize to you as I think it was somewhat bad form of me to suggest you changing something in my initial response about the story, which I am enjoying very much. I wanted to also tell you that you have a keen knack for describing clothing, settings and you give concise yet descriptive visuals for your characters. Kudos.

[homeofpoe]

I've bookmarked this onto my "To Read..." list.  Once school lets up, I'll be sure to turn my eye there. Great to see the effort, at the very least, and I look forward to the actual content.

Reminds me I need to sit down one day and pen my own imagination in the 'Verse...

[Echo]

I tell you what I really struggled with.  How long it took me to get into the habit of writing about people with American accents.  There are a few little very English words and phrases and I had awful trouble trying not to put "Where you to" which is a Cornishism.  I'm Northen why have Ipiced these up?!!!!! And more to the point, why do I have to keep writing them into my Firefly stories?